Here's the deal... I don't post serious or personal stuff often... it's usually me just messing around writing about random challenges I've made with myself or food... or random challenges with food... but this is going to be an exception... I tend to get reminiscent at the end of the year... this is that post... You've been warned.
Christmas is my favorite time of the year by far... There is just something special about it to me... To say I'm a Christmas fanatic would be pretty accurate... Some people I know get hung up on the "Christmas is to commercialized" side of things... and I can understand that... but that has never and hopefully never will steal my "Christmas thunder".
For me Christmas is not about the presents or any of those things people get hung up on... the thing that really gets my heart beating for this season is something different entirely...
If I'm really honest, this year has been a weird one for me. One of those that messes with your head and leaves you longing for a new chapter in life. (side note... not everything is horrible... not at all actually... let me explain... quit jumping to conclusions!) I don't really know how to put it though... 2011 started off great... I was a vegan for a little bit and lost some weight... then found it and a few new pounds... I had a girlfriend and things were promising there... In June I woke up to the fact that I needed to take care of myself (read: I'm fat... I should be less fat) so I overnight changed my diet and started working out a lot... you may have read about it... and that went very well... I lost a lot of weight and for the most part have been able to keep it off... In the middle of that time some tough choices where made and my girlfriend and I split... that was tough... tough... I had a lot of me invested in that relationship... so letting go felt like letting go of a big part of me... of my heart... I lost a lot of motivation and went on autopilot for a while... which isn't me... After P90X was done I started running... Couch to 5K was a success for the most part... I can run further (
farther?) and faster than I ever have been able to in my entire life... I still haven't hit all my goals with that... but it's a work in progress... That brings us up to Thanksgiving... Thanksgiving was one of the best I can remember... it'd been a while since I'd been home and it was good to be with my family and reconnect with some friends that I hadn't seen in a while... I started
RediscoverLakeland.com and thats been going well (btw if you're a Lakeland-er you should join in the project! it's fun)... Life was moving along but from August on I felt like my life was in a fog... (And none of this is to say that I haven't had good moments since then... I have... but it'd just been a rough patch)
Which leads us to the last several weeks... Like I said... I may be the hugest Christmas fan around... but this year I wasn't feeling it... I really hadn't been feeling anything... (sorry to dump all this on you... this is a free therapy session for me... and it gets better in a second... I promise) So, I decided to buy myself a Christmas tree... and the strangest thing happened... in the middle of the Lowe's Christmas tree lot like a wave it hit me... It is Christmas!!! It's here! and suddenly a lot of hurt and pain just washed away.
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Now, for any of that to make sense you have to know what Christmas really means to me... Christmas to me isn't everything that has been commercialized... Christmas is Hope and Joy and Peace and Love... Peace on earth, Good will towards men... Christmas is God is with us... God is with me... (I'm getting emotional at Starbucks writing this...) That in the middle of all the junk that had built up in the world and in me that God showed up... Christmas is light breaking the dark! Christmas is life returning! The thrill of Hope!
And trust me... I know, I know those sound like the cliche Christmas things to say... but they stir up my heart at the deepest level...
So there I was in the middle of Lowe's and all of that just hit me all at once... and honestly, it's changed me. I feel alive again for the first time in a while. (and thats not to say that every second is now rainbows and butterflies but I do feel like my feet are on the floor again and I feel like my head is screwed on right again) (also, buying a Christmas tree may not have the same results on you as it did on me... It is magical finding the perfect tree though, you know what I'm talking about) (*Lowe's has not sponsored me in any way... if they'd like to I'd be up for it *winkie face)
This year Christmas came just in time for me... I need a season where love and joy are the central focus...
I hope and pray for you that if you're in a dark place that this Christmas that you can experience the light Christmas has to offer... God is with us, He's with you. And if things aren't all that bad for you that you never loose focus of what Christmas really is.
I don't know what 2012 holds... but I'm not to worried about that right now... It's Christmas Time.
- Mike
Ps. If you've actually read all of that you deserve a reward... enjoy!
